"All Summer In One Day"

I can't exactly remember the grade, or the teacher (had to be in the 1960's though); we watched a film in school based on a Ray Bradbury story "All Summer In A Day". Besides being a bit of a freaky-film, it was memorable for me for several reasons. Probably as a youngster, the 'not fitting in' theme was the biggest.

The premise of the story is about a young girl, moved onto 'Venus'. Her class mates mock her recollections about life on earth, especially about seeing sunshine. The sun shining on 'Venus' comes rarely- can be any number of years before it shows itself, and then, only briefly. Her classmates speculate about the upcoming possibility of the sun's appearance; and in childish form, the classmates, particularly one boy, gets even more mean to the girl-- to the point of locking her in a room. That is about the time word gets out that the rain is slowing, and the elusive sunshine is at hand--- quickly the young girl is forgotten, as all the children, and their teacher are drawn outside to marvel... So taken in are they, the young girl is abandoned, left in the dark, alone...while everyone else is out side experience great exhilaration. (You can catch the film on Youtube.)

These days, I think the film gives a glimpse of some of what it is like to live challenged with Myalgic Encephelomyelitis. M. E. could be 'the 'bully', or even the unpredictability of sunshine on 'Venus'. In that, those wonderful minutes, hours, maybe a few days in a row of feeling optimally well -are so glorious amid the many other days, hours, minutes of feeling so ill, on so many levels...

Another view of similarity could be taken. There are many times, when the sun of life is out, others are taking advantage of it in fullness- and we are 'locked away by M.E.'...confined, ill, wondering if we will ever be up to catch a ray of that sunshine again; meanwhile we catch glimpses of others who seem to race by, we hear their voices of urgency, eagerness, happiness- We try to get our 'doors unlocked'- but can't budge. Sadly- slipping back into unconsciousness is almost a relief.

Some mistakenly believe we like lying there. But truly, the vast majority of M.E. sufferers are actually 'type A' personalities, wrapped in invisible lead blankets; who want very much to be up and about and running around with everyone else.

When moments of 'sun' dawn on us- a part of us wants to just soak it in, but instead we rush about with all we can muster- trying to get something, anything, done-before it disappears again, and we sink into darkness. As if a huge curtain rises and falls on our life, aside from our will; teasing us mercilessly.

Through decades of dealing with this phenomenon, I have been forced to consider what I value most. And to consider in times of light, and in darkness- what is the main thing.

As a Believer, I have learned that my 'comfort' isn't the main thing. The more concentrated I am on the removal of pain, the more I am concentrated on the pain, the more the pain becomes central.

Instead- God is more concerned for my character- learning and growing in my walk of faith, and knowledge of Him. So in light or dark, to what degree possible- I try to set my mind, heart, soul and body toward what He is teaching me; And how- even in my circumstance- with whatever I can offer to Him- I want to learn from Him, and I want to serve Him. Amazingly, a secondary benefit in this is pain reduction. ("...seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.' Matthew 6:33)

Along with this is the multiplicity of being 'productive'. For most of us long to be productive! Before we were struck down- we were known as productive people. Got a lot done, did it well, good work ethic...we liked being that way, others liked us that way...wasn't just about what we did, it was also a part of who we were. So, when that kind of productivity is no longer there- what is our value? ...Where did the people go...

Thankfully, as a Believer- the value I have, is simply that value which God places on me- because of Who He Is. In His gracious nature of being- He calls me valuable. Humbled by this- He will lift me up. ('Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.' James 4:10) Even when I am at my most 'useless' state to those around me, He loves and values me, just because- He says I am valuable. Wow- the very LORD of the universe and beyond...Creator of ALL... the One Who Breathes Life and Light..... He says- 'you matter, you are valuable, you are not forgotten, you have purpose---I AM at work, even as you are set apart to rest'.

His redemptive nature, applied to my circumstance, says that whether I am suffering or in moments of lucidity and energy- He is at work. He invites me to be apart of what He is doing, His way... To others, it may not look like much- but even while lying there, if I am at least some what aware- I can turn that time into a wonderful time- where I enter the Throne Room of Grace- and bring the sacrifice of praise to the Almighty; I can bring Him petitions on the behalf of loved ones, for those who have yet to know Him, for those in need, and those rejoicing...

I may still be a weak vessel lying there- but empowered by the Holy Spirit, I am transformed into a Humble Servant of a Great and Loving King. This brings rest to my soul and being, besides rest to my body. Let the Sonshine~

" Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Polarized Parenting Practices

I have noticed a number of parents parenting out of 'fear'- not necessarily consciously; but their parenting practices show it. The polarized parenting practice is that which is borne out of 'freedom'. Let's take a look at how these different practices reveal themselves. Some I will just name- some I'll go into more detail~

The first fear that comes to my mind is the 'fear of harm'; harm that may come to my child. I think it is a common, and understandable fear. It is a good thing to fear for our child's well-being, that fear can move us to take necessary precautions. The danger of this fear is when it is at a point where the parent becomes immobilized, or may over-protect (gotta love that bubble-wrapped kid in that commercial), or perhaps the parent has a lack of this fear and in fact is a danger to the child. Fear, left unchecked can quickly run the gamut, unless it is balanced by the Father, and our Creator, with freedom. This kind of freedom is not equal to absence of fear, but that the fear is filtered and regulated through our trust in God for the outcome- with a healthy dose of 'having done all,stand' (Ephesians 6:13)

Many parents practice out of a fear of loss of control. The freedom-filter for this is not only knowing, but acknowledging the Truth- that God is control; we are to submit to His Lordship. To parent well- I must first recognize His Lordship- not mine, not the child's... A 'me' or 'child' centered home is an unhealthy home. A Christ-centered, Christ-controlled home is healthy.

Loss or 'self-identity' can creep in. A parent may feel that they no longer recognize themselves- this new role takes on paramount proportions and we feel we are losing our self. We are too busy, too tired to be anything other than - too busy, too tired. But calls us valuable (James 4:10) and tells us, amoung other places- in the first chapter of Ephesians- who we are. We can be assured that no matter how much circumstances change- our identity in Christ is secure.

This security can also be shaken by the fears of not being 'liked' or 'loved' by our child. Parenting to please our child (which is really parenting to please our self) is dangerous to all involved. As Believers- we are to parent to please God. (Ephesians 5:1-2, 15-21,6:4) And our child is to learn that the real deal is to please God, ultimately. A parent shows true love- when parenting to please God, not self or child.

More 'loss issues' can surface--and there are fears tied into loss. Fear/loss of finances, free time, status, fear of what others will think.... Not a lot of accolades for you when you are wiping a snotty nose, scraping off cereal dried to the walls, kissing the boo-boo, changing the umpteenth diaper, get and amazing burp out of the baby....You may even meet resistance when you say 'no' to your child, or have them go back to the store to personally tell the manager that they took that sucker off the shelf and didn't pay for it.... We must keep perspective- a Heavenly perspective. Again- to please God, and that along each step there is a consequence, and we are looking farsightedly at what God has in store for us and our children, and our children's children....someday. There is eternal value/consequence in everything we are doing; with generational and eternal consequence. Know it counts- you are going about raising a child of the King- and for this, the King will reward, and will provide~ (Heb 13:5-6 Ephesians 5)

Again- we can easily get overwhelmed by any of these fears- we can be immobilized, thinking that if I don't do anything- there is nothing to fear! Ah, but the rub is that in fact there is still something to fear, because 'not doing anything' is 'doing something' too! It will still produce consequences. Instead- look at parenting as a adventure, and be energized by it. God didn't just drop you off on a 'survivor island' all by yourself- He gave you His Word and His Holy Spirit to guide and instruct you on this journey. He has also given you opportunities for Fellowship with other Believers...

Parenting out of fears brings the fruits of such things as- anger, rebellion, bitterness, selfishness, depression.... Parenting out of the freedom we have in God through Christ- and godly submission, we have: peace, patience, kindness, self-control, lovingkindness.(Galatians 5:22-23)

So what do you want your child to 'be' when they grow up? Not asking 'do'...but what do you want them to BE? Stopping to consider that question is crucial; even more so for a Believing parent, as that question will surpass this mortal life. There is an eternity in question here. Once you decide- it will help you determine if you will consistently take the parenting practice road of fear, or freedom.

Keep in mind that when I say fear- I do not mean the opposite of peace. As in the beginning, fear itself can be a good thing. The bigger issue then is how we place fear- if it is misplaced fear, we have foolish results, even harmful.

However, if our fear is well-placed- it leads to wisdom. For in this mortal life we will not ever be free of 'fear'- but how we respond to it is critical. The Bible says, in Proverbs 1:7 "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge...' (James 3:13-18 Ephesians 5:15-17)

We need to, everyday- take the time to acknowledge that God is God; ask Him for His wisdom to meet the challenges and joys of the day. Give Him all your fears, ask Him to filter them, and provide His strength, knowledge and wisdom. Allow Him to reveal how He has uniquely formed each of His children He has placed in your care. Thank Him that He has not left you alone to do this- but thank Him for giving you His Word and Spirit, and for His promise to help....to His glory~

knitting lessons

I think as far back as I heard told- one of my great-grandmothers was a knitter. My mom's mom was a knitter too; and a crocheter, quilter, tatter, embroiderer... She produced blue-ribbon quality artwork (craft didn't seem to fit)... Whatever project she put her hands to, no matter how small or large the task- I guarantee you that the back of the piece was just as much artwork as the front. She was meticulous. I am so thankful to have some of her artwork... from small, delicate doilies- to a queen sized bed cover, knitted with such fine thread, it is more like lace.

My great-grandmother continued to knit, even after she went blind. Most probably what we call macular degeneration. My mom always marveled at that story- as I marveled at her with all the knitting projects she continued with, well after her own macular degeneration and retinal issues stole much of her sight. Sewing and knitting were my mom's two favorites, and in later years- she took mostly to knitting. Many prayer shawls came to being in her hands- bringing comfort to others through her faith community. While our children were younger- each was blessed with many a handcrafted wonder- from dolls to dresses, animal mittens to afghans- and more. 'I just can't sit and do nothing!' was her sentiment. She had every reason to just sit; the osteoporosis ate away at her spine until it was an unstable stack, pinching off so many nerves. But she was content if she could have a couple 'sticks' and a ball of yarn. My mom had bouts with serious childhood illnesses- many keeping her in bed for days on end. Grandma taught mom how to knit to help her occupy those long and painful days of bedrest. Both women supported the troops through the Red Cross during 'THE war' by rolling bandages and knitting.

Grandma, gave me my first knitting lessons when I was a girl. It was not a natural talent for me. But since trying to crochet, and sew were even more disasterous, we stuck with knitting lessons. Even for how meticulous and gifted she was- she didn't get cross with me; we'd just try it again; and I was glad just to be with her. I never did quite get the hang of doing it her way- but I did find a way that worked, and was mostly the 'right' way....she was fine with me just trying it, and didn't get after me for not doing it the 'right way'.

But adolescence stole me away from the burgeoning talent. Just wasn't a 'cool'- teenage activity. Too many other things to do. So there sat my little collection of sticks-n-yarn.

College days came- I began to embrace the nerd in me; that, and I was in that 'lady in waiting for a prince' season- I picked up my sticks, and launched into the crazy world of knitting a scarf, an afghan- even a sweater! I am sure that both my mother and grandmother were glad to see me again pick up a form of my heritage in handcraft; but they wisely did not share that glee with me at that tender stage.

Life again came hard and fast. Sticks were packed away again, for years... Finally I began to get them out little by little, and even began to expand my numbers and varieties of sticks! By now my grandmother had passed on; and my mom graciously began to little by little, provide me we more sticks, and a ball of yarn here and there, and an occasional pattern... I still was not an artist on par with my grandmother or mother- but I kept at a project or twogoing, here and there.

Following in these women's knit-steps, these days I pretty much have a smaller knitting project near a chair, and a cloth bag set to grab if going somewhere which may provide opportunity to add a few more rows. As my mom and grandma, I don't like 'just sitting there'!

I think my grandmother was the quintessential handcrafter; she artfully dove into color, textures, patterns and more in several practical and beautiful venues of handcraft.... Mom was an amazing sewer and knitter, and was especially attracted to complex patterns- those created by changing colors, or ones created by combining the yarn to form different textures. She blessed us with afghans, sweaters, hats n mittens. They usually had knitted into them a picture, or a complex nordic pattern, or inticate Irish design.... We all have something in which to wrap up on a chilly day- warmed not only by the fiber of yarn, but the fiber of love as well.

Me, well- after big beginnings with afghans and such, my current projects are much smaller, easy to take along, faster to finish. Right now I am sticking with different style hats, mittens, socks, dishcloths... and am trying multiple pairs of animal-puppet mittens. Nice to have something on hand for birthday, holiday, shower gifts.... I have found the fun of felting as well, and even knitted some purses last year.

Once in awhile I am asked to help a beginner with a knitting project- I tell them I am glad to help- as long as they don't mind if I show then 'my way', and not the 'right way'. It will accomplish the same thing- which is fine if one wants to get it done in such a way that works- but not good if one is looking to be a classic knitter.

I am thankful my grandma was so patient with me- She allowed me to learn to knit with the idea that it was not only practical- but to be enjoyable. My mom never forced me into doing one of her favorite things- but allowed me to self discover in my own way and own time; and supported me in the craft with resources. I now have, in addition to my own collection of sticks and knitting ware, some of my grandma and mom's; it is wonderful to have these simple tools that were once held in their own hands, together creating beautiful heirlooms. Knitting patterns from many years ago, I now can enjoy- some are a bit of history in hand, some timeless, some outdated- but dear because I remember wearing them! Some I am using now, some I will continue to hold on to, well-because it is 'our history'.

How sweet to have had the relationship I had with my grandma; some of our most memorable spent close together, untangling another knitted-knot. He unconditional love was the greatest gift.

Mom's role was different- she was there to guide and direct me. Much of my early life we butted heads because we both had good doses of German-Irish blood in us- both head strong, but we were very different in a lot of our approaches to things. Through the years we learned to appreciate the differences more, and extend more grace.

In knitting, my two favorite elements are texture and color. I don't do so much with knitting patterns of colors. I just like color- I love the variegated yarns and watching its own pattern emerge as I knit-best of both worlds to me. The different feels of wood or metal needles, and various fibers of yarn- there is a sense of calm that one can get.

Even when there is an occasional knot of yarn- there is satisfaction in gently working it out. My grandma taught me the secret (and I had plenty of opportunities to practice with her back then!); the secret to getting the knot out is to gently pull to loosen the lengths. Don't keep pulling on this end and that end trying to force it.

Just a gentle pull, a little here, a little there, until the knot center is loosened- and then one can begin to see the pathway of the lengths, find an end point, and begin to work that end back out of the congestion of yarn. Going gently and steadily would get one father, more quickly, than trying to 'horse' the knot into submission. Rarely, there would be a knot that was set for life; in this case one has to learn to recognize the situation for what it is, and break the tie, cut it off completely (wasting as little as possible of the good yarn), tie the ends back together, and continue on course.

The children's mittens I am knitting now may be small, but I chose the patterns in part because of the new things for me to learn in doing them. Not only am I knitting to shape the mitten, but with each animal representation, there are new colors and patterns. Some of the stitches are completely new to me. I have found that it is best to keep my head around the 'big picture' of what I am doing, how it will look- keep at the pattern til I get to the next 'new/challenging' part and 'worry about it' once I get to it. Once at the challenging part, I take it one stitch at a time, referring to guides if needed, until I come back to a part of the pattern I recognize again. And, full of wonder- hold it up, and viola! There it is! (Most of the time- thankfully knitting is a forgiving handcraft, and if it is not as should be, I can always just rip it up back to before the goof and start over from there!)

Although I have not 'bullet-pointed' lessons in this, they are, shall I say 'knitted' into this blog- I will allow you the satisfaction of finding them for yourself, as I did. I am quite sure that I have much to still learn from my experiences in knitting. I am thankful to have such a gentle handcraft to do , and to have had such gentle hands introduce and encourage me.

Around and Around and Around We Go~

Ok, so I was talking to a friend last night. My friend is a dear person, and is convinced that if we just love people more, they will be ok... I said we must land on justice, for them to be ok... So- either of us got this figured out?

As we walked along, she with her two children in hand, I pointed out a man in the crowd around us and said, "What if that man was coming at you with intent to murder us?" (yes, extreme, but bear with me for sake of discussion) "If you love that person- offer your love to him, will he most likely stop because you say 'Stop! because of the love I have for you'?"

Or, if he is coming toward you with malice attempt- justice should be served by halting him bodily, possibly with force?

Could it possibly be that we too often put love and justice at polarized ends of a spectrum, when in fact they are more dimensionally interrelated to each other.

I would agree with my friend, that at the core- there must be love. But in this old world, I know it will take more than my love alone- I just don't have enough in me. In fact, when it comes down to it- I have a very natural core of selfishness and sin... Even the most lovely of people will run out of enough 'love' to cover all the ills of the world. If one approaches life in this world with an 'it's ok, I love you anyway' approach to everything- I guarantee the person will run into difficulty. In our country, someone like this may even be labeled a 'vulnerable adult'.

So that is where the love I am talking about must come from Someone bigger than myself- From not only Someone bigger than the universe- but how bout Someone who created the universe- Someone who just spoke- and there was light! Oh, yah- that Someone really knows how to love in a bigger-than-big way!

Hmmm, so I started out though with love and justice- Back to justice now- The scene with the man coming at us! What, in this case really was the most loving thing to do-- 'lovingly' let him create mayhem and destruction- or, stop him, justly, keeping him and others from harm? Now, again- if I were stepping in with a personal sense of justice- why I could go along all through the crowd and probably find some injustice in each person- and at the least, verbally reprimand them, or bodily make my point- All in the name of 'justice'. But what if the approach to justice I take is from the One who is Just, Righteous, and I proceed according to His Way- I will be motivated and acting out of .......ready..

...Love! Ta-Da! Full circle.

Justice, according to His Way, is a extension of love-- Note that it is brought with the hand of mercy- and although the motivation for His justice is love, it is through the hand of mercy. Mercy is when we don't get what we really deserve. What we deserve is punishment for sin- that is justice. He then extends us mercy- for who can see mercy clearly until one sees his sin, and faces justice?

"A simpler and more familiar solution for the problem of how God can be just
and still justify the unjust is found in the Christian doctrine of redemption.
It is that, through the work of Christ in atonement, justice is not violated but
satisfied when God spares a sinner. Redemptive theology teaches that mercy does
not become effective toward a man until justice has done its work. The just
penalty for sin was exacted when Christ our Substitute died for us on the cross.
However unpleasant this may sound to the ear of the natural man, it has ever
been sweet to the ear of faith. Millions have been morally a spiritually
transformed by this message, have lived lives of great moral power, and died at
last peacdfully trusting in it." AW Tozer

Our finite minds tend more toward compartmentalizing things- instead of thinking of things, at least, on a continuum- or maybe further, as dimensional spheres... either way- God is infinitely, beautifully, wonderfully, complex. His precepts are interrelated, intricately woven into the fabric of this universe He created.

My friend and I were both wrong, and both right. Wrong, if we were to shortsightedly and staunchly looked, and held tightly, to 'our point of view'. Right, when we both stepped back from ourselves, and looked together through the eyes of God-- to find the 'bigger picture', the more complete picture- that we were both right, but just too shortsighted in view.

This God of ours is a God of complexity and dimension beyond anything we can hope to understand during in this mortal life. But what joy when He gives us even a glimpse of understanding His Ways-- Letting us see a glimpse of His Design. And He delights in sharing His Mystery with the ones He loves, and who love Him~

My friend and I no longer stand apart, on this 'issue'; in fact, it is no longer an 'issue'. That is another great Truth about who God is- Along with being a Redeemer- He longs for, and provides for, Reconciliation- unto Himself, and makes away of Reconciliation possible for people to people.

Hhmm- it does start with love, justice, mercy, love... His.

... it ends with love, justice, mercy, love...His.

A Case of Gimme-Gimme

So picture a room about 25ft by 25ft, a converted garage space, with large TV, computer for power point, sound equipment 2-3 musicians/vocalist, 3 large 'seasoned' couches, dozens of folding chairs...jr and sr highers streaming in, mostly jr highers...knocking snow of their tennies...bringing with them a blast of fresh-cold winter air, to balance the building Eud du Youth scent...lots of chatter; friendly- although sometimes crass, greetings.... Yep- it's youth group night! But sometimes it isn't long and it looks more like a seagull scene from the movie "NEMO"!

It isn't long and the crowd of near 40 is settling in, and surveying the lay out. "What do we get to _____ tonight?"... "Can I have ______" "Where's the ____, we had that here last week, why not this week?".... Weeks can go by with only a veritable few intentionally, with meaning, saying to one of the leaders, "Thank you."

Yah, been working with youth in some capacity for almost 25 years, so it's not a surprise, and not what I'm in it for. And, although it would be nice to hear 'thank you'. A civility lesson isn't what this is about. It is about something that may be even bigger...entitlement.

I do get bummed that the youth don't show thankfulness to the leaders- but it goes deeper than that....it is a disregard/disrespect of those who have chosen of their goodwill to provide a place to meet, places to sit, music, food, beverage, warmth..and more. And just because week after week they have the opportunity to enjoy these things, without cost- they have an expectation of those provisions being there the next time they come. Why- because they believe/feel 'entitled' to them. Most seem to not even have the stop-off place in their understanding called 'privilege', which may touch off a sense of gratitude.

Of course, I don't want to give the impression that youth have the corner on the entitlement sentiment- the thread runs deeply in adults as well. After all, where do these kids learn these things?

The Word alone has the answer to break through this mentality- to short circuit it and reroute it through the heart, soul and mind- where our minds are shown that reality, in Truth, none of of deserves a lick of anything. Really, if we are honest with ourselves- let's face it, all of us have messed up at some time...maybe some more and some less, but no one is perfectly good! There is something in all of us that wants to scream- 'you owe me' or 'I deserve this' or 'it's my right'!

Now while these statements may hold some truth in a legal sense; I am looking at them more in a moral-ethical sense. Really...what is it we all really 'deserve', and knowing ourselves so well (including our thought life),what if we all got true justice? I shudder just writing that!

As grandma used to say "when you point one finger at someone, just remember you have three pointing back at yourself'...and I have to admit my surprise at not only the areas of entitlement mentality I hold, but how deeply I hold them is astounding to me as well!

Within my DNA and yours, there has been embedded a unique code. It is amazingly minuscule- not visible to the eye or any powerful microscope- and yet this little bugger permeates our flesh, and whole being. Entitlement mentality, as well as many other forms with which it manifests itself, can be traced back to this code. Scientists have yet to discover it, but the existence of it, through these manifestations, is quite striking.

Of course Scripture is once again ahead of Science on this one- like it was with the earth being a sphere...and MANY other things... So what is this code embedded within us? It is pride, it is sin.

Yep- you knew that, didn't you? That thing affects so many areas of our mortal lives it never ceases to amaze us! It is quite fascinating too- just when you think you've gotten rid of it and are so humble-- you look in the mirror, and there it is! Now your proud about being so humble! Yep, it's a natural part of humanity. Just is.

"I have discovered this principle of life- that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God's law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?"

Boy- this guy's got it bad! But can you relate? He could have taken the seemingly 'easy way out' and took the attitude of 'I don't care'-- but we all know that's a lie, if we are honest.... But there's more to what he has to say-

"Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you form the power of sin that leads to death. ...so God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in the body God declared an end to sin's control over us by giving his son as a sacrifice for our sins. He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit." Romans 7:21-8:4

So, basically, because of our nature/DNA of sin. We are basically pathetic, worse even. That is the truth. And crying out for what we 'deserve', what we are 'entitled' to....does not cover up the quiet Truth within us that we 'deserve' nothing at the least, and punishment all the more. And here the Answer comes- in human form of all things- to conquer this sin for us...to live out a sinless life- and yet still be punished to death, not for Himself- but for ME, for YOU, for OUR sins! Oh, even to get my heart, soul and mind around that to any degree brings to me a sense of overwhelming gratitude, thankfulness...love. ANY value I have is because the Answer has put that value on me because of Who He is- Love, Mercy, Peace, Redeemer, King, Almighty, Lord, Saviour...."Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up." James 4:7-10

So next time that entitlement lie bubbles up, which it will from time to time until the Lord releases us from this flesh- Breath in the Word Believer. Let the Holy Spirit reroute your DNA circuit through His Demonstrated Love on the cross, and present life. The first step to salvation, the ongoing steps of sanctification (growing in Christ's character)- all being at the same place- Humbling ourselves 'before the Lord', that's the key. And Honey those chain links of entitlement will drop away~ No more gimme-gimme, but rather- Lord, thank You, thank You! And this will spill over and out of you- so that there is an outpouring of love and gratitude to those around you too.

Entitlement has one focus. On 'me'. But the twins 'gratitude and thankfulness'- can't help but be a double blessing- and beyond!

Being Bolted Down in Space Part II

Following up on the 'Space theme' from the previous blog~ Another important aspect to all this is how the importance of having Space in our lives has dimensional consequences.

The decision to allow to have space in our personal lives (space/time to breathe in God's Word deeply, penetratingly...to rest...to see the excellent, the prize), not only will impact us personally, but will ripple-wave out to those around us as well.

In particular, I will concentrate on the affects of Space, or lack thereof, on our children.

Gatekeeping is actually a big part of most mothers' lives. A lot of the decisions we make on a daily basis have to do with our children's activities and logistics. It easy to allow our personal 'Space' to slip away, and we may work at guarding that; but are we also aware of how vital it is to build that Space into each of our children's lives?

If women, moms, are 'spinning out' with all they are balancing- what about our family, our children? Working with youth for over two decades- I've witness an ever escalating phenomenon- excessive youth involvement. Yes, there are those students who could benefit from doing an activity, and are involved in none- that we are made most aware of, and their need to be involved.... But, the concern I submit to you today is: what about the many (perhaps majority) of youth today that 'over-involved'. By over-involved- I mean that they have virtually no Space built in....let alone time to get needed sleep (one of the highest factors in Depression), to eat nutritiously, to eat together as a family, rest, experience quiet, connect face-to-face with others- outside of peers/school settings, go to church, do service projects.... Of course, even good things can crowd out Space....

So how do our youth learn the value of space-time. First, we adults have to have a good handle on it- that we have developed the discipline in our own lives- by seeing its value, based on our Belief... As a Gatekeeper, then we can guide and choose for our children the most 'excellent' of activities for them, which still leave Space for all.

This is quite counter-cultural, I should warn you. In fact, if you apply this principle of space-time, especially if you extend it to your family...you will most likely receive criticism. Even from others, possibly even from others in your church.

We will need a very secure 'Bolt' to give this a try! Here are a couple thoughts for starters....

First, we can look to Jesus Christ and His ministry-- there are many instances for you to find in the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John in the New Testament, and I will allow you the pleasure of personal study of them. But there is a principle-thread throughout the times He spends with His disciples- He is teaching primarily by Modeling the lesson to His pupils/disciples. So that is the first lesson for us moms- we need to Model what we would like our children to learn (kids are smart! They know when the walk/talk thing is real or not!) Much of Modeling has an element of training in it...it is just simply what we do, because of who we are.

Another aspect to this principle is that when we do see Jesus giving a verbal lesson to the disciples- it is done in the context of daily living....that 'teachable moment'... One of His best tools was asking the disciples questions- but that followed some instruction already given by doing it, seeing it, hearing it.... Jesus did not compartmentalize what was being learned. For His teachings are more about the BEING like Him, than doing like Him. Jesus knew if they got the 'being' part, the doing would follow.

Culture says, or may I say- screams, at us to react in life- many times we are 'leading' by making decisions based on things like convenience, social/economic reward, popularity (adults are affected by a felt need to be popular as much as the youth- we just try to be more adult about it), one-upping, status, relativism.... things that appeal to our flesh; and if we haven't had our Space with God- will easily take control of the decision making process. (This can happen at an exponential rate of speed with the greater the number of children in the household )

Back to Scripture for more guidance- this time the Old Testament, in Deuteronomy 6: 4-9 It is very similar to Jesus' model, just more precisely given to the family....

"Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your gates...."

Do you see the principles in this passage...connect it with Jesus' model...connect it with the Philippians passage from the previous blog about excellence. We must be diligent, intentional. We are commanded to do so. This is important. We must live it out ourselves....it will be caught, then taught. ....Moms, let us write them on the doorposts of our own gates, as the Gatekeepers- let us consider all we let in and out be weighed out by what pleases the LORD.

A lot to think about. Takes time. Takes space in the day. It may not be culturally popular- but absolutely necessary, essential, to Believing parents raising children; who's ultimate joy is that one day, their child will too walk in the way of the Lord~ " I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking the truth." 3John 4

Being Bolted Down in Space

My son and I have been studying the early-1900's in home education. Doing so, I dug out a 'Good Housekeeping' magazine from 1916; and a baby book from mom's cousin, dated 1923... I was showing them to my son- in part to see that this time in history wasn't all that long ago..

As I thumbed through the periodical and baby book- I was struck by what an amazing time this was- things were booming; there was a wave of new jobs, prosperity (before the depression hit), 'youth culture' was now en vogue, a plethora of new 'conveniences' were being offered as more women began working outside of the home. Also- social and religious 'norms' were shifting. This is when men such as Dewey introduced and implemented no longer teaching children the traditional morals, but rather, allow students to decide for themselves what is and isn't 'moral'. Within a couple decades, Rauschenbusch sets aside the biblical principle that man is born with a sin nature- and instead insists a 'social gospel' be taught; saying that the ills of man are do to their environment- inferring that there is not a personal responsibility in how one chooses to act.

I was mostly struck not only by how much had changed; but I was also amazed by how much was the same. People were still basically dealing with the same things people have dealt with for generations, just on a widening range- more 'opportunities', more 'pressing'... Being a woman- I couldn't help but consider the addition of things and people pulling at the women of the time, like never before.


That got me thinking about a book I had recently read. Copyrighted in 1955, written by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. She was probably most well known as the wife of famous aviator Charles Lindbergh, and them having experienced the tragic kidnapping and loss of their infant son. However, she was also an accomplished aviator and writer in her own right, and the mother of five. The title of the book I read is: "GIFT from the SEA". In this book, Mrs. Lindbergh shares her insights and wisdom gained from a week spent away at a beach cottage on the ocean shore. Most of her time was spent alone, and in contemplation.

Several things about which Mrs. Lindbergh wrote were stunningly contemporary- and eloquently put. Descriptions she gives on pages 20/22 are ones that many women can relate to today. Here are excerpts:

"For life today in America is based on the premise of ever-widening circles of contact and communication. It involves not only family demands, international demands on the good citizen, through social and cultural pressures, through newspapers, magazines, radio programs, political drives, charitable appeals and so on. My mind reels with it. What a circus act we women perform every day of our lives. It puts the trapeze artist to shame. Look at us. We run a tight rope daily, balancing a pile of books on the head. Baby-carriage, parasol, kitchen chair, still under control. Steady now!
This is not the life of simplicity but the life of multiplicity that the wise men warn us of. It leads not to unification but to fragmentation. It does not bring grace, it destroys the soul."

"For to be a women today is to have interests and duties, raying out in all directions from the central mother-core, like spokes from the hub of a wheel. The pattern of our lives is essentially circular. We must open to all points of the compass, husband, children, friends, home, community, stretched out, exposed, sensitive like a spider's web to each breeze that blows, to each call that comes. How difficult for us, then to achieve a balance in the midst of the contradictory tensions, and yet how necessary for the proper functioning of our lives. How much we need, and how arduous of attainment is that steadiness preached in all rules for holy living."

Fragmentation. I think most women have felt this to some degree. Perhaps especially true in a season such as raising children. Even with Mrs. Lindbergh's insight and wisdom, she admits in her book to not having an 'answer' to offer.

I would like to submit that there is an answer. We can be a wheel secured by a bolt, so that we don't go spinning off in any-which-way-and-loose-ineffective. That 'bolt' is Jesus Christ and His Word. Where this 'rubber meets the road' of life is in our making of decisions.

Decisions can come flooding at us, or can trickle in and creep up on us...either way having potential to leave us overwhelmed and fragmented. And, no longer effective. This personal condition then affects all those with whom we are in contact; affecting others, but probably not effectively or productively any more. Instead there is a point where the spokes begin to break and there is a disconnect on multiple levels in our lives.

Whether we are consciously aware of it or not, each of the decisions we make are based on something that we value. And what we value is based on what we believe.

If one holds to a "Dewey" perspective- then one can make up whatever is right for them self, at any given moment...a relativism, in the moment- perhaps swayed by such things as a feeling, popularity, immediate gratification... Many times people simply maintain the notion that busyness equals productivity.

Believers, in Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord, are to base their decisions, values, on their belief of Jesus Christ and His Word. Making decisions out of reverence for God and His Word, which gives the biblical definition of wisdom, thus making wise decisions. Sadly, even Believers can be unconsciously driven by biblical/religious assumptions rather than the Truth. There needs to be consistency in studying Scripture and prayer... This brings us to another modern time challenge- Space.

No, not 'outer-space'. Let me go back to Mrs. Lindbergh's "GIFT of the Sea" (excerpts from pages 105-107, I added bold type) Again, she is on the sea shore~
"When I think back to my first days here, I realize how greedily I collected. My pockets bulged with wet shells, the damp sand clinging to their crevices. The beach was covered with beautiful shells and I could not let one go by unnoticed. I couldn't even walk head up looking out to sea, for fear of missing something precious at my feet. The collector walks with blinders on ; he sees nothing but the prize. In fact, the acquisitive instinct is incompatible with true appreciation of beauty. But after all the pockets were stretched and damp, and the bookcase shelves filled and the window ledges covered, I began to drop my acquisitiveness. I began to discard from my possessions, to select."
"Even small and casual things take on significance if they are washed in space, like a few autumn grasses in on corner of an Oriental painting; the rest of the page bare."

These words remind me of a biblical principle that Paul gives us in Philippians 1:9-11. "And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God."

We need to be intentional in building space into our days- to slow enough to study His Word, and hear His voice- so that we choose the excellent way, His way, for our lives and for our family... It will not always be easy to carve out this space, nor will others necessarily agree with our decisions; but we must be passionate and diligent in doing so. However-we will be rewarded in the security and peace He provides in the midst of our modern day, crazily spinning, 'multiple-spoked-wheeled' lives!