For those familiar with Myers Briggs personality typing- you will recognize that INTJ stands for someone who's personality falls into the categories of: Introvert, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging. I belive it is the 'rarest' of these personality combinations (about 1% of population).
http://www.personalitypage.com/INTJ.html
http://www.gesher.org/Myers-Briggs/Profiles--TJ.HTM
I would like to think that rare would translate to most people to be valuable. But, of course, I am an INTJ, and know better.
In fact, I find that people are generally not real appreciative of us. Most I know with same personality tend to be kept at the fringes. On occasion, a group of people, who are obviously well-tuned in, and success/vision minded- will not only tolerate, but invite INTJs into the circle. These are people who appreciate the gift of having an INTJ on the team. Usually these are people who welcome discussion and excellence- and have an appreciation for those who question and challenge; knowing that it is about the goal/vision/project/the people- but not about 'pleasing' other people.
Don't get me wrong- INTJ's generally care greatly about people, but may show this care through attending to the business' of life to meet people's needs and desires. INTJ's are not concerned, in the process, with 'brown nosing' along the way. Their personalities have a natural bent toward viewing those around them on a 'level playing field'. This quality can much more be apprectiated by those who are usually overlooked by those in 'greater esteem', but is a quality not generally appreciated by those of seeming greater esteem. (Unless the person of seemingly greater esteem is a confident person, with a 'larger than their own' point of view on life.)
Oh the joy of serving on a team of people dedicated to a cause- with a variety of personalities, gifts, talents-- who are all willing to be about the mission, and leave self-promotion aside. A group who understands, and has, great appreciation for what all bring to the table. Where even an INTJ can asks questions, and challenge- without being dubbed the trouble-maker; but be seen as a refiner of the vision, and a builder of accomplishing dreams.
Of course- INTJs will at times do themselves a disservice. We can come on too strong- and be 'clanging gongs', as the Apostel Paul has written. (1 Corinthians 13:1..) We must also approach the situations in love and respect for those with whom we serve. "It is better even for a fool to be quiet and at least be thought of as wise'...(my paraphrase of Proverbs 17:28) We must choose wisely our words. And remember that even though, most times, we are 'just asking a question'- most people with whom we interact are not atuned to this, and percieve our questions as a personal threat!....and we then lose the ability to be heard.
Our propensity for being 'right', is much just our personality. But we must take responsiblity to guard against being proud. Most true INTJs of good character, an good willed, ask questions because they truly want to understand the situation as best they can- to understand it 'aright', logically...not as much because they 'want to be right'. THere is a great difference. Nonetheless- it can be a slippery-slope, and misunderstood.
INTJs by nature then are awkward, and make many uncomfortable (including themselves). They care deeply about people and things- but to those around them, who don't take the time and effort to see it- will believe them to be cold, ill willed, and uncaring. This is can cause much angst to the psyche and heart of an INTJ.
I do find it a bit amusing, in a way...that God even infused the DNA of an INTJ into such a small segement of the population. Guess He knew the general populace could only handle so many of us, or appreciate us. Too many of us- and away would go many social scenes! (INTJs tend to be quite private by nature.)
God, being social- being Himself 'in Fellowship with Himself', holds Fellowship of high value. This challenges the natural tendencies of INTJs to continue to poke their heads out time after time. Even if the 'big world' doesn't always understand us and appreciate us- the LORD does. He values us- enjoys us- and knows we have a role to play for His Glory. Nothing more motivational than that to keep an INTJ continually risking and reaching out in Fellowship; with God, and with those whom He places in our lives. We are acutely aware, perhaps more than any others, of the importance of the Big Picture in life- and that it is worth risking our 'selves/personality' to be a part of it.
If you are an INTJ- embrace how God made you; handle it dearly and lovingly. If you know an INTJ- perhaps, take another look, take more time to look past/through and see that under all 'that stuff'- there is a person of value there- Perhaps they appear in the form of a whetting stone...rough, cold, ugly, messy-- but serving with great purpose, and value.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Waiting Challenged
I am 'waiting challenged', and this culture (and my physical limitations) only magnify this internal disability.
Having physical limitations, causes me many opportunities to wait: for someone to help, til I feel well enough to give it a go, recovering from giving it a go... My mind can whirl with thoughts, ideas, plans; but my body will interupt those, and cause much spectulation about the reality of being able to accomplish those myself, or even with help. Guess it helps weed out a lot of the creeping-charlie in my mind.
Our culture runs on high gear...instant this, instant that; with offers of even better-faster-instant! Yikes! How have so many people survived all these many years without having things, or hearing from others- in an instant? Wasn't that long ago when I would wait, with great anticipation of a postal letter- or maybe a phone call. I can remember us gathering around the phone, waiting for an overseas call from my brother, who was stationed in Germany with the Army... Then we would even have to wait during our conversation- just after we would say 'over' once we were finished with our comment. To some, this would be archaic...so less and less- they remember these as the 'new and improved' methods of communication; and speedy ones, I might add.
On top of all this (the list could go on and on), we experience spiritual waiting times. These come in a variety of ways as well. The older I get, the more I am discovering their value- and though I do not open the door to them and proclaim, "OH GOODY!", I do recognize it at the door sooner, and resign myself to its stay more quickly, and try to make it a more welcomed guest.
The Bible is full of 'waiting stories'. We have the benefit of 'hind sight' when we read them- skimming over the sentences which declare the number of YEARS of waiting there are, in many cases. Faith in the Unfailing One undergirded these saints, and the many saints since then.
Every stepping stone of waiting can be used again, to build upon the foundation of our Faith. Perhaps we are building a pathway, or bridge, for others to discover the Unfailing One,our Strong Tower...
With each new stone of waiting- we learn to step more assuredly, trusting to be held securely until the next stone is plainly in sight- marked with the Stone Mason's own hand; His Light illuming it.
Each step strengthens us for the next.
"I waited patiently for the LORD to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me our of the pit of despair, our of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along." Psalm 40:1-2
When in those moments when I value speed over strengthening- I stumble. Fall flat out in some way; and usually it takes me even longer to regain my footing than if I had just .... waited.
If you are in a 'waiting time'- breathe it in, soak it up, observe. Thank the Unfailing One for this time- and ask Him to reveal His Mystery to you in the moments. There is so much He wants to show you, reveal to you.
It is worth waiting for.
"As for me, I look to the LORD for help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me." Micah 7:7
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Haiku (hie-koo)...
Well this past week we were studying a form of poetry called Haiku. Origins in Japan, three lines, built on syllables 5-7-5, featuring nature.
Thought I'd try it. I like that it's form has a lot of odd numbers in it. Always have like things which are balanced in an odd way.
So here goes:
The red flame fading
Tall and slender stood the branch
The last maple leaf.
With most leaves down, let alone still brilliant- this little cluster of maples waved at me through the window, asking to be given attention, and translate their being into words...to leave their imprint in my life, and for others to discover.
Reminds me of how the Lord came to dwell amoung us- He also, in scarlet, hung up on a tree, and became The Word. I know He did this for me, and you. Why? Because this Holy God knew the truth that not all are willing to admit, but know in their hearts as truth- we all fall short. We all have sinned. Not one of us is living perfectly holy lives-- we need a Saviour. Someone to make the Way for us to commune with this Ancient One.
It's truly awesome! God Himself in flesh- come to die on a tree, a sacrifice for me and you. This Loving and Holy God provided a Way to be in Him, and Him in us. He made this Way for us....He created it out of His perfect love and in congruence with His holiness- not compromising any aspect of His character...the Way, trusting in the Gift of His only Son, Jesus Christ, as Saviour and Lord for the world.
If you should happen upon any lingering red-flames this autumn; consider responding to the Creator in a prayer of thanks for the reminder- and His great act of love.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
DRAMA!
Drama. Real life drama is an amazing thing to be a part of. Whether it involves some sort of horror, or an incredible experience of joy- it is amazing. Our whole being reacts in those moments- we are wholly seized by the situation. Sometimes it is a personal drama, in which we are the only player. Other times, our senses are overwhelmed as a group of people- even unto sharing in a 'world event', via media. Recently, people across the whole world were taken on a journey of horror, grief, sorrow, concern...and exuberant joy over the course of Chilean miners who were trapped for days; before our eyes, the whole drama unfolded- Even in their escape, we were held captive of their story.
Then we have, what I call: Disney Drama. This is what a great portion of our culture seems to, mistankingly, hang much of their precious energy upon. Whether it is a 'day-time-soap', 'prime-time drama', teeny-bopper tail, movie...or even a so called 'reality show'-- our human nature is magnetized and energized. It is a very interesting phenomenon.
I haven't seen any studies on this- but I imagine, from my own observation, there are at least a slightly higher number of females drawn into the dramas than males. At least it appears that females are being marketed to more often. Women tend to be most interested in these, by nature; not sure what it is exactly- I speculate it has to do with their general 'nuturing tendencies', and desire to experience a 'rescue', the best being their own (by a strong, handsome, gentleman riding in a white horse- to be exact).
Men would generally be attracted to the struggle- and opportunity to be the hero of the story, or at the least- cheer him on and think of themself as one of character in tune with the winner of whatever battle is raging.
The concern is when people, of either gender, become confused about when drama is REAL, and when it is NOT real. Real-life drama has a life or death issue of some kind at stake. Too many people are taking themselves, especially emotionally, to such heights as those worthy of a real-life drama- when in fact, the situation is the 'just life stuff' of living. The world won't actually end in these situations- at the most, it may change...but not end. (Not sure about this? Hang-out in a Junior High cafeteria for awhile.)
Many adults have left the media-drama-driven-door open to their young people. Not purposefully, mostly apathetically. And perhaps to these adults, what they are watching are to them- tame, and they have no problem discerning the UNreality of it. What these adults are not considering, is that their children- who are developmentally experiencing much of their world still in a land still thraught with imagination; where real/unreal coexist harmoniously. It can be very difficult for them to sort out 'it's just a show'. Not only this- but they begin to transfer this sensation over to their real world, and will imitate fiction in their lives.
The adult producers of the drama-culture in media don't care- after all, it makes money! People eat it up! So that then 'justifies' its production. They continue to crank out 'hit after hit' to take advantage of the young appetites for drama- which becomes insatiable. Many a parent considers it 'harmless entertainment' and happily provide a steady stream of the 'fun' stuff- feeling satified that they have the 'admiration' of their children by them providing it to them. The children are jubilant to live out their lives vicariously through the many media venues available.
It is a dangerous symbiosis. We adults must awaken to the truth. We must stop long enough, pull away from our flesh desire to be momentary heros to our children, and connect the dots to check the consequences to our children...to our society...by continuing to allow such folly into our childrens' lives. What are we setting them up for? Isn't there enough real-life drama to learn to deal with effectually...and most are not solved in a half-hour, or even two-hours!
We would do well to become watchful- to observe, to discern...and then be intentional in protecting and securing our children from this insidious danger to their development. Oh my, yes- our children may deem us dreaded for a day, or longer, because we said 'no' to the bombardment of desire-- But, we must keep our eye on their future good, not their present delight.
It will not be an easy task...it may even produce some of its own real-life-drama! But friends- you also have the opportunity to be real-life-heroes to your children here....even our society...by stepping in front of your child to shield them from becoming developmentally stunted by the unrealistic, and damaging beliefs actions being infused into your childrens' lives. You can teach and equip them to deal with real-life in the days and years ahead.
So grab your capes Mom and Dad- and stand firm!
Then we have, what I call: Disney Drama. This is what a great portion of our culture seems to, mistankingly, hang much of their precious energy upon. Whether it is a 'day-time-soap', 'prime-time drama', teeny-bopper tail, movie...or even a so called 'reality show'-- our human nature is magnetized and energized. It is a very interesting phenomenon.
I haven't seen any studies on this- but I imagine, from my own observation, there are at least a slightly higher number of females drawn into the dramas than males. At least it appears that females are being marketed to more often. Women tend to be most interested in these, by nature; not sure what it is exactly- I speculate it has to do with their general 'nuturing tendencies', and desire to experience a 'rescue', the best being their own (by a strong, handsome, gentleman riding in a white horse- to be exact).
Men would generally be attracted to the struggle- and opportunity to be the hero of the story, or at the least- cheer him on and think of themself as one of character in tune with the winner of whatever battle is raging.
The concern is when people, of either gender, become confused about when drama is REAL, and when it is NOT real. Real-life drama has a life or death issue of some kind at stake. Too many people are taking themselves, especially emotionally, to such heights as those worthy of a real-life drama- when in fact, the situation is the 'just life stuff' of living. The world won't actually end in these situations- at the most, it may change...but not end. (Not sure about this? Hang-out in a Junior High cafeteria for awhile.)
Many adults have left the media-drama-driven-door open to their young people. Not purposefully, mostly apathetically. And perhaps to these adults, what they are watching are to them- tame, and they have no problem discerning the UNreality of it. What these adults are not considering, is that their children- who are developmentally experiencing much of their world still in a land still thraught with imagination; where real/unreal coexist harmoniously. It can be very difficult for them to sort out 'it's just a show'. Not only this- but they begin to transfer this sensation over to their real world, and will imitate fiction in their lives.
The adult producers of the drama-culture in media don't care- after all, it makes money! People eat it up! So that then 'justifies' its production. They continue to crank out 'hit after hit' to take advantage of the young appetites for drama- which becomes insatiable. Many a parent considers it 'harmless entertainment' and happily provide a steady stream of the 'fun' stuff- feeling satified that they have the 'admiration' of their children by them providing it to them. The children are jubilant to live out their lives vicariously through the many media venues available.
It is a dangerous symbiosis. We adults must awaken to the truth. We must stop long enough, pull away from our flesh desire to be momentary heros to our children, and connect the dots to check the consequences to our children...to our society...by continuing to allow such folly into our childrens' lives. What are we setting them up for? Isn't there enough real-life drama to learn to deal with effectually...and most are not solved in a half-hour, or even two-hours!
We would do well to become watchful- to observe, to discern...and then be intentional in protecting and securing our children from this insidious danger to their development. Oh my, yes- our children may deem us dreaded for a day, or longer, because we said 'no' to the bombardment of desire-- But, we must keep our eye on their future good, not their present delight.
It will not be an easy task...it may even produce some of its own real-life-drama! But friends- you also have the opportunity to be real-life-heroes to your children here....even our society...by stepping in front of your child to shield them from becoming developmentally stunted by the unrealistic, and damaging beliefs actions being infused into your childrens' lives. You can teach and equip them to deal with real-life in the days and years ahead.
So grab your capes Mom and Dad- and stand firm!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Fatigue...is a very frustrating thing~ (Sung to the tune of "Love, is a many Splendid Thing?)
Lying on the floor is awkward. Especially in public places, which I really try to limit. Next best thing is when there is metal shelving units which are: very low, sturdy, and roomy- on which to sit- with head in hands/on arms...something on which to lean. But nothing beats lying down when you hit a 'wall'.
Then- you have to wait it out. Never quite sure if it will be minutes/hours/days/weeks... but surely I am hoping and praying for a short duration of it at this level. It's one thing to push through days feeling like you are wading through thick mud while wearing a lead-jumpsuit...it's another when you have no choice but to surrender to a horizontal position.
In truth- pushing to keep upright at this point- has the same outcome anyway; only I'll most likely be horizontal even longer. So surrender I do.
Ahhhhh. That's better. And btw, not just lying there- perhaps 'sprawling there' would do the position more justice. Even in the grogginess of this state- my brain feels a sense of relief, in not having to attend to the 'extras' of standing, walking...thinking.
Funny how my family gets used to seeing me like this- they walk over me, around , continue conversations with me- as if nothing is strange about my lying there. (My children have grown up with me being ill; my amazing husband married me knowing of my malady.) They kindly offer me an 'Are you okay?", mixed in with the rest of the chatter. Although slow to respond- my hearing is fine, and their asking means a lot. Even though I feel SO ILL, I try to minimize it for some reason- to spare them my 'complaining', and tell them- 'Yah, I'm ok, just need to lie here for awhile.' No, I'm really not okay. No, this isn't normal. Is it really 'normal', 'for me'? I don't like that it is. Anyway- I am glad for the company, of whomever it is chatting away to me...somehow it is more comforting, than just lying there on the floor alone. And they are even gracious about my struggle to get out coherent words in return...
Once things 'lighten up' a bit- I roll to my side and begin the process of getting back. My lungs have a strange feeling at this point....hard to describe...it is like a palpable fatigue in the air sacs that my muscles squeeze out of my lungs during this process. It isn't that all the fatigue is gone, but more that my body is releasing something toxic which my body has dealt with as I lie there- and now it is time to expell it....perhaps some tiny 'smoke/exhaust' from the firing up of those poor mitochondria to get me up off the floor?! I don't know, and as I said, hard to describe- nonetheless it is there- and it signals to my Being: "Here we go body. Let's give it a try." And up I go...slowly, tentatively- awkwardly.
Then- you have to wait it out. Never quite sure if it will be minutes/hours/days/weeks... but surely I am hoping and praying for a short duration of it at this level. It's one thing to push through days feeling like you are wading through thick mud while wearing a lead-jumpsuit...it's another when you have no choice but to surrender to a horizontal position.
In truth- pushing to keep upright at this point- has the same outcome anyway; only I'll most likely be horizontal even longer. So surrender I do.
Ahhhhh. That's better. And btw, not just lying there- perhaps 'sprawling there' would do the position more justice. Even in the grogginess of this state- my brain feels a sense of relief, in not having to attend to the 'extras' of standing, walking...thinking.
Funny how my family gets used to seeing me like this- they walk over me, around , continue conversations with me- as if nothing is strange about my lying there. (My children have grown up with me being ill; my amazing husband married me knowing of my malady.) They kindly offer me an 'Are you okay?", mixed in with the rest of the chatter. Although slow to respond- my hearing is fine, and their asking means a lot. Even though I feel SO ILL, I try to minimize it for some reason- to spare them my 'complaining', and tell them- 'Yah, I'm ok, just need to lie here for awhile.' No, I'm really not okay. No, this isn't normal. Is it really 'normal', 'for me'? I don't like that it is. Anyway- I am glad for the company, of whomever it is chatting away to me...somehow it is more comforting, than just lying there on the floor alone. And they are even gracious about my struggle to get out coherent words in return...
Once things 'lighten up' a bit- I roll to my side and begin the process of getting back. My lungs have a strange feeling at this point....hard to describe...it is like a palpable fatigue in the air sacs that my muscles squeeze out of my lungs during this process. It isn't that all the fatigue is gone, but more that my body is releasing something toxic which my body has dealt with as I lie there- and now it is time to expell it....perhaps some tiny 'smoke/exhaust' from the firing up of those poor mitochondria to get me up off the floor?! I don't know, and as I said, hard to describe- nonetheless it is there- and it signals to my Being: "Here we go body. Let's give it a try." And up I go...slowly, tentatively- awkwardly.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
My Friend's 'EmbarAssing Moment'
I have a wonderfully hilarious friend who posted on fb about an incredibly awkward situation- as she put it, and I quote: an "EmbarAssing Moment"!
In her own words: she "was in (a city) the other day...stop to get fuel and leave some H2O...payed my bill to a male clerk...leave...female clerk comes running after me in the parking lot...'scuse me Mam, but you have some TP hangin out your pants'...so I look down at my feet..."Mam, not there", she says...it was hangin out the top backside...then she tells me the male clerk sent her out here to tell me...I about dies right then and there...and those of you who really know me know that it takes a lot to embarass me!...I bet they had a good laugh!"
Awkward for my friend, the male clerk, the female clerk--- maybe even some reading about it!
Follwing her post- there were several reactions...some felt 'sorry' for her situation...some found it amusing...and some shared they would not have told her, and some shared they would have told her (my friend was GLAD she had been told before she went out into the rest of the world in her condition, unaware).
So where would you land in the discussion. I guess I would agree with my friend- I would ultimately want to know. Embarassing as it would be in that moment of revelation- ultimately, I would want to know if my TP was showing! (My grandma would let us know when our 'slip was showing')
What about when what is showing is even bigger and more glaring than TP, or a slip of a slip? And on top of that- we are completely unaware of it being there, let alone, that it is something SO showing?
The LORD has placed me in Fellowship with Him and His other Followers, in part, to loving let me know when the slips show... Proverbs 27:6 says "Faithful are the words of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are lavish and and decietful."
I am SO thankful that the LORD doesn't want to leave me wallowing in sin...but will gently reveal to me areas of sin in my life- He convicts me, in a comforting way; in such a loving way- that how can I say 'no' to allowing Him to come into that part of me and do a little surgery...put on some Holy Spirit balm...some rest...then some therapy...healing. It is an amazing process. No pain/no gain. Sometimes you just gotta face it- and deal with it....
After all, who'd really knowingly want to walk around in life, always with honking strips of TP hanging out the top backsides of their lives?
Maybe today you need to be the friend- do what you are to do in love, out of the love, grace and mercy which has first been given to you. If you are the one with your 'slip showing' or TP hanging~ accept the word of a friend with thankfulness and graciousness.
In her own words: she "was in (a city) the other day...stop to get fuel and leave some H2O...payed my bill to a male clerk...leave...female clerk comes running after me in the parking lot...'scuse me Mam, but you have some TP hangin out your pants'...so I look down at my feet..."Mam, not there", she says...it was hangin out the top backside...then she tells me the male clerk sent her out here to tell me...I about dies right then and there...and those of you who really know me know that it takes a lot to embarass me!...I bet they had a good laugh!"
Awkward for my friend, the male clerk, the female clerk--- maybe even some reading about it!
Follwing her post- there were several reactions...some felt 'sorry' for her situation...some found it amusing...and some shared they would not have told her, and some shared they would have told her (my friend was GLAD she had been told before she went out into the rest of the world in her condition, unaware).
So where would you land in the discussion. I guess I would agree with my friend- I would ultimately want to know. Embarassing as it would be in that moment of revelation- ultimately, I would want to know if my TP was showing! (My grandma would let us know when our 'slip was showing')
What about when what is showing is even bigger and more glaring than TP, or a slip of a slip? And on top of that- we are completely unaware of it being there, let alone, that it is something SO showing?
The LORD has placed me in Fellowship with Him and His other Followers, in part, to loving let me know when the slips show... Proverbs 27:6 says "Faithful are the words of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are lavish and and decietful."
I am SO thankful that the LORD doesn't want to leave me wallowing in sin...but will gently reveal to me areas of sin in my life- He convicts me, in a comforting way; in such a loving way- that how can I say 'no' to allowing Him to come into that part of me and do a little surgery...put on some Holy Spirit balm...some rest...then some therapy...healing. It is an amazing process. No pain/no gain. Sometimes you just gotta face it- and deal with it....
After all, who'd really knowingly want to walk around in life, always with honking strips of TP hanging out the top backsides of their lives?
Maybe today you need to be the friend- do what you are to do in love, out of the love, grace and mercy which has first been given to you. If you are the one with your 'slip showing' or TP hanging~ accept the word of a friend with thankfulness and graciousness.
Limits
I was reminded today of my limits~ AWKWARD. Interestingly- I heard others expressing how difficult it is when confronted with their limitations. A word I heard used at the funeral of a friend's mother yesterday, was frailty. Hhmm, limited, difficult, frailty...all word that create a sense of unease- and around which most of us feel awkard.
I have been learning (notice, I've not gotten it nailed yet), to be more comfortable with my limits. I have had a chronic illness for about 25 years- (wow, even the word chronic sounds awkward). It has caused me to be acutely aware of having limits at many levels- physically, socially, mentally, emotionally, financially... not easy to admit for a strong-willed Irish-German woman who had once prided herself on her strengths in each of the above mentioned dimensions of her life. To top off the awkardness- I don't usually 'appear ill' to those around me; unless you live with me, or spend an extended amount of time with me. It has been a journey in and of itself to move from 'fighting' this thing, to deciding to 'manage it' so it doesn't 'manage me'.
Spiritually- is where the akwrdness, the limitations, the frailties become a gift~ Sure, gifts awkwardly wrapped in strange/ugly/painful wrappings, but nonetheless gifts! The biggest gift of all, to to discover that I am not in charge; and that there is a God, big G- it's not me, and He is definitely in charge! What a surprising relief that is! Even when everything else about me is completely frail- He is strong, a refuge, my saviour, my redeemer, my comfort, my provider... It is moving from believing He exists, knowing about Him, to understanding, to KNOWING with great assurance that He is who He says He is!
In Sunday School class today, we were discussing expectations which we bring into marriage. These were once desires, which morphed at the altar into expectations- before we even realized it. (Andy Stanley, "i Marriage") We start to treat our spouse with a 'you owe me' mentality- and begin to lessen our appreciation for their love and provision because we think 'hey, they are just doing what they said they would- no big deal'; instead of marveling at the gift of our spouse in daily, marvelously, wonderously choosing to serve us in a particular way- not out of 'duty', but out of love.
Taking the thought further- I thought how I need to first admit to God, and my spouse, that I have limitations, a frailty--I have taken my desires and moved them along the contimuum, and have crossed the line into expectation, and I need help to give that expectation up. Once I admit I have moved into expections- I need to recognize the original desire of my heart, and give that to God to take care of...and not put that pressure solely, unwarrantedly on my spouse. I need to embrace the unconditional love that the LORD God offers me- so that I may in turn offer that, as well as the other fruits of the Spirit, to my spouse (Galations 5:22-25...love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control).
Romans 6:6-7 "We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin." Do we really KNOW? Have we really meditated on this; have we let it infuse our whole beings? We must first surrender to Christ- and allow Him to do His work within us. Notice that the verse does NOT say: then we will sin no more! But we are set free from the power of sin! Which allows us to freely embrace His love for us- unconditionally. "Warts and all." How powerful when we turn to our spouses, children, family, friends, neighbors...and offer them this same message/ and live it out before, and to them? Actually- it migth be pretty awkard sometimes! But is a radiant message to live out!
Wow- so many gifts to be discovered under the awkward wrappings of our lives. In those tough times, which are inherent to life- take time to sit in the awkardness long enough to find the ribbon peeking out- and with your hand in His- gently pull on the ribbon, go ahead and pull the wrapping back- and know that your Heavenly Father gives only good gifts- He is more concerned about our growing character (growing in His likeness)- than our comfort.
Proverbs 27:7 "A person who is full refuses honey, but even bitter food tastes sweet to the hungry."
I have been learning (notice, I've not gotten it nailed yet), to be more comfortable with my limits. I have had a chronic illness for about 25 years- (wow, even the word chronic sounds awkward). It has caused me to be acutely aware of having limits at many levels- physically, socially, mentally, emotionally, financially... not easy to admit for a strong-willed Irish-German woman who had once prided herself on her strengths in each of the above mentioned dimensions of her life. To top off the awkardness- I don't usually 'appear ill' to those around me; unless you live with me, or spend an extended amount of time with me. It has been a journey in and of itself to move from 'fighting' this thing, to deciding to 'manage it' so it doesn't 'manage me'.
Spiritually- is where the akwrdness, the limitations, the frailties become a gift~ Sure, gifts awkwardly wrapped in strange/ugly/painful wrappings, but nonetheless gifts! The biggest gift of all, to to discover that I am not in charge; and that there is a God, big G- it's not me, and He is definitely in charge! What a surprising relief that is! Even when everything else about me is completely frail- He is strong, a refuge, my saviour, my redeemer, my comfort, my provider... It is moving from believing He exists, knowing about Him, to understanding, to KNOWING with great assurance that He is who He says He is!
In Sunday School class today, we were discussing expectations which we bring into marriage. These were once desires, which morphed at the altar into expectations- before we even realized it. (Andy Stanley, "i Marriage") We start to treat our spouse with a 'you owe me' mentality- and begin to lessen our appreciation for their love and provision because we think 'hey, they are just doing what they said they would- no big deal'; instead of marveling at the gift of our spouse in daily, marvelously, wonderously choosing to serve us in a particular way- not out of 'duty', but out of love.
Taking the thought further- I thought how I need to first admit to God, and my spouse, that I have limitations, a frailty--I have taken my desires and moved them along the contimuum, and have crossed the line into expectation, and I need help to give that expectation up. Once I admit I have moved into expections- I need to recognize the original desire of my heart, and give that to God to take care of...and not put that pressure solely, unwarrantedly on my spouse. I need to embrace the unconditional love that the LORD God offers me- so that I may in turn offer that, as well as the other fruits of the Spirit, to my spouse (Galations 5:22-25...love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control).
Romans 6:6-7 "We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin." Do we really KNOW? Have we really meditated on this; have we let it infuse our whole beings? We must first surrender to Christ- and allow Him to do His work within us. Notice that the verse does NOT say: then we will sin no more! But we are set free from the power of sin! Which allows us to freely embrace His love for us- unconditionally. "Warts and all." How powerful when we turn to our spouses, children, family, friends, neighbors...and offer them this same message/ and live it out before, and to them? Actually- it migth be pretty awkard sometimes! But is a radiant message to live out!
Wow- so many gifts to be discovered under the awkward wrappings of our lives. In those tough times, which are inherent to life- take time to sit in the awkardness long enough to find the ribbon peeking out- and with your hand in His- gently pull on the ribbon, go ahead and pull the wrapping back- and know that your Heavenly Father gives only good gifts- He is more concerned about our growing character (growing in His likeness)- than our comfort.
Proverbs 27:7 "A person who is full refuses honey, but even bitter food tastes sweet to the hungry."
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