Limits

I was reminded today of my limits~ AWKWARD. Interestingly- I heard others expressing how difficult it is when confronted with their limitations. A word I heard used at the funeral of a friend's mother yesterday, was frailty. Hhmm, limited, difficult, frailty...all word that create a sense of unease- and around which most of us feel awkard.



I have been learning (notice, I've not gotten it nailed yet), to be more comfortable with my limits. I have had a chronic illness for about 25 years- (wow, even the word chronic sounds awkward). It has caused me to be acutely aware of having limits at many levels- physically, socially, mentally, emotionally, financially... not easy to admit for a strong-willed Irish-German woman who had once prided herself on her strengths in each of the above mentioned dimensions of her life. To top off the awkardness- I don't usually 'appear ill' to those around me; unless you live with me, or spend an extended amount of time with me. It has been a journey in and of itself to move from 'fighting' this thing, to deciding to 'manage it' so it doesn't 'manage me'.



Spiritually- is where the akwrdness, the limitations, the frailties become a gift~ Sure, gifts awkwardly wrapped in strange/ugly/painful wrappings, but nonetheless gifts! The biggest gift of all, to to discover that I am not in charge; and that there is a God, big G- it's not me, and He is definitely in charge! What a surprising relief that is! Even when everything else about me is completely frail- He is strong, a refuge, my saviour, my redeemer, my comfort, my provider... It is moving from believing He exists, knowing about Him, to understanding, to KNOWING with great assurance that He is who He says He is!



In Sunday School class today, we were discussing expectations which we bring into marriage. These were once desires, which morphed at the altar into expectations- before we even realized it. (Andy Stanley, "i Marriage") We start to treat our spouse with a 'you owe me' mentality- and begin to lessen our appreciation for their love and provision because we think 'hey, they are just doing what they said they would- no big deal'; instead of marveling at the gift of our spouse in daily, marvelously, wonderously choosing to serve us in a particular way- not out of 'duty', but out of love.



Taking the thought further- I thought how I need to first admit to God, and my spouse, that I have limitations, a frailty--I have taken my desires and moved them along the contimuum, and have crossed the line into expectation, and I need help to give that expectation up. Once I admit I have moved into expections- I need to recognize the original desire of my heart, and give that to God to take care of...and not put that pressure solely, unwarrantedly on my spouse. I need to embrace the unconditional love that the LORD God offers me- so that I may in turn offer that, as well as the other fruits of the Spirit, to my spouse (Galations 5:22-25...love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control).



Romans 6:6-7 "We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin." Do we really KNOW? Have we really meditated on this; have we let it infuse our whole beings? We must first surrender to Christ- and allow Him to do His work within us. Notice that the verse does NOT say: then we will sin no more! But we are set free from the power of sin! Which allows us to freely embrace His love for us- unconditionally. "Warts and all." How powerful when we turn to our spouses, children, family, friends, neighbors...and offer them this same message/ and live it out before, and to them? Actually- it migth be pretty awkard sometimes! But is a radiant message to live out!



Wow- so many gifts to be discovered under the awkward wrappings of our lives. In those tough times, which are inherent to life- take time to sit in the awkardness long enough to find the ribbon peeking out- and with your hand in His- gently pull on the ribbon, go ahead and pull the wrapping back- and know that your Heavenly Father gives only good gifts- He is more concerned about our growing character (growing in His likeness)- than our comfort.

Proverbs 27:7 "A person who is full refuses honey, but even bitter food tastes sweet to the hungry."